As a young woman who is married and a mother to a young son, I have many responsibilities in life, but the first and foremost responsibility I have is looking after myself. I no longer blame the past, but I take full responsibility for my life. I no longer play the victim or accept that life, illness or accidents just happen to me. This old way of thinking is dis-empowering and requires no self-responsibility.

When I am presented with difficult situations, I am offered a reflection. I ask myself:

  • What is my role in this?
  • Was I present or in avoidance?
  • What reactions have come up for me to look at?

Many times things have happened, and I have wanted it to be a certain way. My expectations of people have always gotten in the way, leading to disappointment, reaction and withdrawal. If I let go of the expectations, I can let go of what is not true and accept what is in front of me. The opportunity I have is to deal with my reactions, express in full, and develop an understanding of myself and others. This is what brings a deeper level of acceptance.

Developing a connection to my inner stillness, the stillness of the Soul, is where my journey towards self-responsibility started. Many women today have lost this connection and are abusing their bodies by trying to keep up with society, working, looking after families and households. Women have become the do-ers, the bread-winners, the multi-taskers, and leaders of many kinds. And with all these great achievements, breast cancer and ovarian cancer are on the rise like never before.  So, what is going on in women that this rate of breast cancer alone is getting worse? And, why is it occurring in women of younger ages? When a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer, aggressive or not, there are many people around her that are affected by this.

Do women truly stop to feel why they have breast cancer? Or do we put it down to bad luck, poor genetics, genetically modified food, toxins in the environment, radio-activity, etc? The rates of breast cancer alone are not improving, so surely something has got to change?

  • Could there be something in the way we are living?
  • Are we taking responsibility for how we look after ourselves?
  • Do we truly nurture ourselves as women: from every thought we have about ourselves, what we choose to eat, how we express in our daily lives, how we move in everything we do?

 I have come to understand that the quality of energy I choose determines everything. How I will be in every moment of the day, the quality of my thoughts and how I will move and express. For example, when I choose worrying thoughts or self-doubt thoughts, my quality of energy changes. I can drop in how I feel about myself or get negative about the future. When I choose the quality of energy to be more gentle and present, as in I am more present with my body, and my mind is with what I am doing then I feel content, steady and confident within myself. When I move my body with an ease and there is no tension in my body, everything feels amazing.

This to me gives another level of energetic responsibility because the more I live with this awareness of myself and others around me, the more I can feel this affects everyone.

As a woman, I am blessed to be living in a female body. I have re-connected to the absoluteness of Stillness in my body and Sacredness through Esoteric Women’s Health. Gone are the days where I dreaded getting my periods. Now, I love getting my periods every month because it enables me to feel a quality of stillness within my body. My periods offer me an opportunity to rest more and deepen this connection in my body. When I dis-connect from this stillness I feel it in my ovaries, they pop like bubbles of hardness in my body.

My periods no longer give me painful cramps each month like they used to, or restrict me from working. I see them as my body’s divine way of clearing. They cleanse my whole body from old patterns and all that I may have taken on in that month that was not true for me.

I have also been developing a greater awareness of the sacredness in my body. As women, we naturally carry this essence (love) within our bodies. This connection, or knowing, was once a way of life in ancient times but has since been lost. Sacred Movement  has helped me to reconnect to my essence, to let go of physical tension and hardness in my body and to feel the delicateness in my movements. It has helped me to connect deeply to my body and know that I have all the answers within me.

I am responsible as a woman to hold this connection within me as it determines how well I respond to life. Living in disconnection has caused a lot of tension within myself and my relationships. For example, I have created arguments within my home that have spiralled out of control.

It is in these moments that the blame towards others has crept in and abuse and irresponsibility takes over. There have been times I have chosen to seek attention outside of me, using complication, busyness and abuse as a distraction.

 “Women have got to change the paradigm that says, “we can, we can, we can do anything”, into – “let’s honour, let’s honour, let’s honour our bodies deeply.”~ Serge Benhayon (Esoteric Teachings & Revelations Book 1, p. 524)

As controversial as it may sound, connecting to our femaleness and letting go of the drive, could be the answer to many of our relationship issues. It could also assist women with their health issues.

Appreciating the loving qualities I have with myself, and with other women has been very inspiring. We can certainly appreciate ourselves on a daily basis and confirm these moments. Such as:

  • The moment a beautiful connection was felt with another, and the evolutionary conversation shared;
  • To the moments of presence that  we hold within ourselves and emanate this with our movements;
  • The moment we dress ourselves, allowing our true beauty and sexiness from within to reflect this. It is not only in what we choose to wear, but also in the space and quality we did it in;
  • The moments we observe and accept others;
  • The moments we make a meal to support our body;
  • To the moment we deeply honour our bodies to rest; or run a gorgeous warm scented bath.

As a woman, it is my responsibility to live in a certain way, lovingly nurturing myself and therefore others around me.

By Leah Lavinia Pash


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